JET LAG and BUMS.

I took an accidental 4 hour nap this afternoon. WHOA. That's intense. I was so so so exhausted after a morning of walking around Vatican City, my feet were pulsing with pain (reminded me of he restauranting days) and I NEEDED to lay down. This lay down then turned into a full out slumber. Which I needed I suppose!

We went out to dinner tonight at a really cool spot across the bridge called Trastevere. It was very cool and crowded with cool dark restaurants and bars. Very trendy and hip seeming. We ate at an amazing restaurant outdoors, where we shared an antipasti of sliced meats and vegetables, and I need to explain the QUALITY of this salami. It was thickly sliced, where you could see the white casing on the edges, like brie cheese. And it HAD like an essence of brie cheese taste in it. It was SO GOOD. The bread was also large and crusty and delicious.

It was at this restaurant that I had my first experience with the "GUARDA!" men. Allow me to explain. Rome, along with various other tourist cities are filled with men selling weird things, and weird street performers and all that. There are these men who come around at night from outdoor restaurant to restaurant, and they do a magic show. A LAME magic show. (Guarda means "look" or "watch") They also wear fake hair, my brother informed me, because apparantly the grand finale has something to do with them lighting this hair of theirs on fire or something. AND, the best part is, they ALL perform the EXACT same show, with the EXACT same script and intonations in their voice. They sing this weird chant-like thing that something like this "GUARDA LA COCa-COLA!" "GUARRDAAAA LALALAL blah blah blah". It is SO. FREAKING. FUNNY. I could not believe it was happening. They have zero enthusiasm and chant in a monotone voice, its unbelievable. There were two GUARDA men that stopped by throughout our meal, and before they could begin their acts, the restaurant owners kicked them away. However, on our way out, I had the PLEASURE of seeing one in action. He had some sort of fake sword in front of his throat, and pushed it through, like it was going through his neck and released an anti-clamactic "aaahhhhhhhh" sound. I was dying. We all were dying. I wanted to see the entire act, most specifically, the hair firing, but we continued on our way. If you see me in real life, I need to impersonate the chanting. It's out of this world.

Poor GUARDA. These wigged men need some acting lessons, if not a new career choice.

There are also the various Arabic looking men who sell things like... mini tripods. Like. I really NEED to know, in WHAT situation, would I need a 4 inch tripod????? Apparently, you are supposed to use them on bridges with your camera... um....


Then there are the African men with the fake bags. The Pradas, the Louis Vuitton, always the big African men.

Today I saw some man selling, what I call "the little jumping beans." They are these little paper characters, with yawn legs, that jump up and down beside a radio playing music. My mother really loved them when she visited me in Florence, so one day I bought some. AND WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP. They definitely don't dance. They are literally a piece of paper, with yawn hanging down as legs, and little paper feet stapled to them. The guys who sell them, apparently, have magnets attached to them. Apparently, when sold, the figures are always between the radio and another bag, where there is some sort of magnet in action that makes them danced. Pissed me off, I really enjoy them. Check this out:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCRncicc_3I&feature=related

Effing Jumping Beans!!!!!

hmmm. what else... there are also the Gypsies of course, who lay on the ground and shake their hands begging. It is SO weird to me that THIS is how they live their lives. Like, they do this as their jobs, basically, and all day everyday. I did notice, however, that I have seen WAY less Gypsies that I did, say two years ago in Florence. Julia told me Paris just gathered all the Gypsies up and SHIPPED them all back to Romania! Racist issues are of course in discussion now because of this. What a bizarre life. And horrible.

My brother says there is a specific type of bum that dominates this area that we had dinner in tonight. They are like, kind of punk, have a lot of piercings, and a lot of dogs. We saw many of them. He said he once heard some of them in a raging fight, and couldn't identify what language they were speaking. Interrressssting. I saw one of them tonight playing music and dancing with his dog. He picked up his two front legs and was dancing with him and kissed him on the paws. I thought that was really cute, until I saw another bum girl who was wasted and had a black eye. Unfortunately, her bf probably did that to her.

Lessons: Don't ever become a GUARDA man, don't ever sell dancing paper, but please, dance with dogs!. GOODNIGHT!